[Verse 1]
They say I got the island on a thread
Hanging by a paper clip and prayer
Got a rental romance on the side
Calls me “chief” when the card slides

Toto wags when the bowl hits the floor
Side-eye when I head for the door
Every headline asks where my guts went
Check under the couch with the missing rent

[Chorus]
I’m the boss of nothing
Still they write my name in ink
Cardboard crown crooked
Coffee going cold in the sink
If I’m the boss of nothing
Why they always wanna watch me think?
I’m the boss of nothing
Boss of nothing
On the brink

[Verse 2]
They’re out there digging for a backbone
Metal detector on the front lawn
Heart listed on the lost and found page
Between old phones and backstage passes

But the crew says
“You’re all good
Mate
You sign the forms
You lock the gate”
So I raise my glass to the cheap applause
Can’t feel my pulse but I’m still in charge

[Chorus]
I’m the boss of nothing
Still they write my name in ink
Cardboard crown crooked
Coffee going cold in the sink
If I’m the boss of nothing
Why they always wanna watch me think?
I’m the boss of nothing
Boss of nothing
On the brink

[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
If I had a heart
Would it change a vote?
If I had a spine
Would it bend or choke?
If I had a map
Would it point me home
Or just circle this same old joke?