[Verse 1]
Wake up crooked
Sun’s too bright
Kettle’s busted
Shirt too tight
Missed my train and
Spilled my brew
Whole damn world
Feels like a shoe

[Chorus]
I’m a simple man
Grumpy as they come
Need a cold one in my hand
And something soft when day is done
Don’t ask much
Life’s already rude
I’m a simple man
Yeah
Grumpy and I like boobs (hey!)

[Verse 2]
Traffic crawling
Flies in my face
Boss keeps talking
From some high place
Paycheck’s tiny
Rent’s insane
Only two things
Calm my brain

[Chorus]
I’m a simple man
Grumpy as they come
Need a cold one in my hand
And something soft when day is done
Don’t ask much
World’s a bloody zoo
I’m a simple man
Yeah
Grumpy and I like boobs (it’s true)

[Bridge]
You want romance?
Buy some flowers
I’ll mow the lawn
I’ll fix the shower
I’m rough around it
But I’m true
Take me as I am
Or find some new dude

[Chorus]
I’m a simple man
Grumpy as they come
Need a cold one in my hand
And someone laughing when I’m dumb
Don’t ask much
Honest
Crude
I’m a simple man
Yeah
Grumpy and I like boobs (oi!)