[Verse 1]
Miss Jones said
“Oi
That’s naughty”
Whole class froze in the hall
All I said was what Dad says
Yelled it loud at recess smoko

Mum’s face went red as beetroot
Principal asked me to “share”
“How do you feel when you say it?”
I said
“Bit fuckin proud
Bit fuckin scared”

[Chorus]
You can’t say cunts at kindy
You can’t say cunts at all
If I can’t say cunts at kindy
What do I call them cunts?
(cunts)
What do I call them cunts?
(cunts)

[Verse 2]
Footy on the side of the oval
Big kids stole all our snacks
Little mate cried to the teacher
I just muttered under my breath

They say “use your nice words
Johnny”
They say “be kind
Be cool”
But what do you yell at the magpies
That swoop you walking to school?

[Chorus]
You can’t say cunts at kindy
You can’t say cunts at all
If I can’t say cunts at kindy
What do I call them cunts
(ya cunts, ya fuckers)
What do I call them cunts?
(ya cunts, ya fuckers, ya fuckers)
What do I call them cunts?

[Bridge]
Call ’em “mate” with a crooked smile
Call ’em “pal” when they’re being vile
Call ’em “champ” when they’re talking tough
Call ’em “legend” when they’re full of shit

Call ’em “prick” when they steal your chair
Call ’em “sport” when they steal your style
Got a million names for the same old stunt
All the words you use
When you mean that one

[Chorus]
You can’t say cunts at kindy
You can’t say cunts at all
If I can’t say cunts at kindy
What do I call them cunts
(cheeky cunts)
 

You can’t say cunts at kindy
You can’t say cunts at all
If I can’t say cunts at kindy
What do I call them cunts
What do I call them cunts

[Outro]
Miss Jones laughs in the staffroom
Dad laughs down at the pub
World full of walking nicknames
Same joke
Dressed up
You can’t say cunts at kindy
But we know who we mean anyway